Demystifying Food and Making Healthy Eating Accessible

What do you eat the day after you “overindulge”? How do you grow your booty and have visible abs? How do you regulate your period? How do you lose pandemic weight? These are all questions many of us have or have, at some point in our lives, had. In response to this demand (which was created initially by an industry that sold us an ever-shrinking size 0 and ‘detox’ teas), we’ve seen all sorts of conflicting advice. ‘If you don’t have an appetite in the morning, there’s something wrong with you. Eat anyway.’ And on the other hand, ‘your body is smart enough to know when it is hungry and when it is full, listen to it and feed it accordingly.’* We’ve also heard that bodies can communicate micronutrient needs through cravings, which is why it’s important to eat intuitively. Then we heard that intuitive eating doesn’t work because if some people leaned into their cravings they’d never touch a vegetable in their lives.

Eating is something we do to live. At its most basic, it is a survival tool. Your body, an intricate and sophisticated machine, needs fuel for energy—as any advanced machinery would. But it’s also become so much more in most societies. Family meals are a beautiful social event in many cultures. In Italy, family gatherings happen over home-cooked meals, prepared with love, and a few glasses of wine. In Samoa, food is central to celebrations, with feasts being the standard way to celebrate major milestones and life events.

So why and how have we messed up food culture so much? For a friend’s birthday last year, we were planning on hiking somewhere scenic and having a picnic. I wanted to surprise her with some cupcakes on the picnic as well. When I brought this up to some of the other friends joining us, I got a disappointing response of “why would you ruin the hike by having a cupcake at the end?” I responded that a hike, and exercise in general, doesn’t hold its value in its potential to grant you weight-loss. I ended up not getting the cupcakes in the end because more than one friend joining us refused to have one, despite them loving cupcakes.

Reminders

When I started writing this, the goal was to encourage people to eat in ways that supported their health and hormones. That still is the goal, but I feel like you can’t talk about that without considering the extremes many of us feel like we have to go to in order to be “healthy”. Unless you’re an athlete or a bodybuilder (or just someone with very different requirements than the average person), the only diet rules that you should be following, in my humble opinion, are:

A few more things to discuss:

• Yes, you need carbs. You might not feel good on all types of carbs, and you might feel better eating a little less (or a little more) carbs than your friend does. But you still need all three macronutrients.

• No, one day of “overindulging” will not change the way you look or your overall health. Attempting to overcorrect the following day can result in a harmful binge/restrict cycle. Just move on and eat normally the next day.

• No, exercise does not determine whether or not you deserve to eat. Your body does so much for you every day, exercise is only a small fraction of the energy it expends, fuel it well.

• The body(type) you have is the perfect one for your lifestyle. Your body is generally smart enough to adapt to your needs, and if you want the body of an athlete, it would be very difficult to achieve that without the lifestyle of an athlete. If your body is difficult to maintain in a certain way, then that might mean that, based on your lifestyle needs, your body tends towards something different.

Making Healthy Eating Accessible

As discussed above, we live in a time that has really overcomplicated food and eating. Most affordable food options are highly processed and, for those of us short on time, takeout options are often high in sodium, lacking in micronutrients, and really unsustainable for long-term health. So, how can you work around these limitations and create food diversity and a gut and hormone supporting lifestyle?

Fruits and vegetables can be super expensive when you buy them out of season. Going into Autumn, I’m noticing that berries cost so much more than they did during the Spring. This is also, generally, how you get the best tasting and the freshest produce too. I love cherries so much, they’re probably my favorite fruit, but they are really tasteless when they’re sold out of season. Not to mention that it’s such a waste of money getting subpar produce for such a high cost.

Buy frozen fruits and vegetables

Snap-frozen food can actually be more nutritious than fresh. That’s because it’s often picked at its ripest, as opposed to the fresh produce we buy, which is picked before it ripens and then transported to our supermarkets. Frozen fruits and vegetables are also cheaper than fresh, especially when you consider how little food waste there is when you can store your produce in the freezer for months.

Buy frozen protein

When I lived in student accommodation and didn’t have a car to get to the grocery store whenever I needed, I lived off of a meal of frozen salmon, frozen broccoli, and some rice or potatoes from my pantry. It’s not the cheapest thing in the world, but frozen protein can be really good in a pinch and it also often ends up being cheaper than buying fresh.

Learn the nutritional value of restaurant meals

I have a friend who used to swear that the Subway wraps were better than the regular bread, nutritionally speaking. It took a quick little look at their website to discover that the regular bread is higher in protein per serve and higher in nutrients. I won’t discuss calories, as that is not productive for everyone. If that is you, don’t look at the calories, simply consider the ingredients list. Ingredients are labeled according to how much is in the product. So for example, if milk is the first ingredient in your candy bar, then the candy bar contains more milk than any of the other ingredients. If milk, for example, is an ingredient that often makes you feel less than ideal, reconsider.

Incorporate a serving or two of fruits into your breakfast

It’s easier to achieve food diversity if you make an effort to eat fruits and vegetables every day. One of my favorite ways to do that is to have a sliced piece of fruit or a simple fruit salad to the side of my breakfast, or as a snack afterwards. Smoothie bowls are also great for this, or even a bowl of oats topped with some bananas or berries.

Incorporate a serving or two of vegetables each in your lunches and dinners

Just like the tip mentioned above, having more fruits and vegetables every day can be an easy way to incorporate diverse micronutrients into your diet. Those can be highly beneficial to your gut and everything affected by that, like your hormones and your digestion. It’s really easy to just pop some frozen veggies into the microwave for a few seconds, season them, and add them to the side of your meal. You can also have fun with this by creating or finding fun and delicious salads to go to the side of your meals or, if you bulk them up with some protein and starches, as the meal itself.

Meal prep

I am such a hypocrite for bringing this one up, but it really is a good tip if you don’t have much time. I personally struggle with meal-prepping, but as a student I’ve never really felt the need to meal-prep, because I’m usually at home during my meal times. When I’m really busy, I throw some frozen protein, potatoes, and vegetables in the oven and call it a meal. However, if and when I do find myself really pressed for time, overnight oats, leftovers, and precut (by me, earlier) fruits and vegetables have always come in handy.

Let me know in the comments if you’d be interested in a meal-prep hater’s guide to meal prep that doesn’t suck, because I’d be more than willing to experiment and find ways to make meal prepping more interesting and fun for all of us!

* If you’ve suddenly had a change in appetite and suddenly don’t feel like breakfast, there may be a hormonal issue at play, consulting a professional may be necessary then.

How to Be a Good Friend and Why You Should Want to Be One

One of my friends takes self improvement so seriously that I am constantly amazed. She reads so many books, and she often picks ones that give her the tools to be a kinder and more wonderful person. Recently, she told me about a book she’d been reading that was all about friendship. She told me that, from this book, she learned what to look for in a friend and she also learned the tools needed to be a good one. I was really impressed.

We live in a time where we’re all about ‘my boundaries’, ‘my feelings’, ‘my wants’. While I recommended Women Don’t Owe You Pretty to several of my friends, and I had several books about not caring what other people think of you recommended to me, I can’t think of a time when anyone I know (including myself) has ever recommended a book to anyone about being a kinder, more caring individual. You know, a book about actually caring a little about what people think of you and how you make them feel. Don’t get me wrong, it is important to educate yourself on how to protect your own energy and boundaries, but I do think the conversation is severely lacking when it comes to respecting other people’s energies and boundaries.

Having Good Friends and Being One Can Improve Your Physical Health and Wellbeing

I consider myself very lucky in that I have a very strong support system of found-family. My best friends are reliable, dependable, kind, and loving people who always have a moment for me when I am in need, and always celebrate my accomplishments. I consider myself even luckier after learning that recent studies suggest that having strong friendships has a great impact on physical health. In fact, it is suggested that maintaining healthy friendships is as important to your health as exercise.

Here are a few ways solid friendships can positively impact your health outcomes:

• The emotional support that comes from having a deep and meaningful connection with another person is great for mental health, which in turn is good for physical health.

• Research suggests that maintaining healthy relationships and having reliable friends reduces stress, and stress is well documented to have adverse health effects.

• Have you ever had a friend motivate you to go to the gym with them? Friends can motivate us to be healthier or to quit bad habits (of course, that also means they can influence us to pick up bad habits).

• Reliable friends provide solid support systems during times of hardship or trauma—when you’re unwell, for example, they might drop off some food and medicine.

So, how do you make good friends? In my research for this post I have found nothing concrete. Generally speaking, there’s that whole “birds of a feather,” thing. In my personal experience, though, that’s not always the case. Sometimes people are lonely, even though you have nothing in common, they might still stick around or try to impose themselves.

The way I became friends with most of my best friends is by deliberately making an effort to do so after observing all of their “green-flag” traits through our prior interactions. These “green-flags” include traits like generosity, kindness, honesty, and reliability. The people who possessed those traits likely would not have liked to be friends with me for long if I did not make an effort to exhibit those traits myself. That’s why, even though there’s no “Reliable Friends Tinder” or any other easy way to find good friends, there is a way to attract them when they’re around. And there definitely is a way to keep them. You just have to work on being a good friend yourself.

Becoming a Good Friend and Making Your Friendships Last

The way our societies are structured today, friends often have to take a back seat to romantic relationships, or families, and work. In reality, friendship is just as important. It might sound overwhelming to dedicate the same amount of time and effort into your friendships as you would your family and work. It should. It is overwhelming, you really don’t need to do that.

Truthfully, maintaining friendships is so much easier than the other two. With a significant other, you need to see them very regularly, you need to organize a date night every week or every month. With work, you need to invest time and energy for hours every single week. Friendships are the metaphorical succulent of this plant bunch. If work was an orchid (you could do everything right and it will still die on you), and your family a needy peace lily (that springs back up when you give it attention, if you haven’t left it for too long), friendships are a robust little agave plant, very chilled out and understanding.

To make things even easier, sociologist Anna Akbari breaks up connections into two categories: passive and active friendships. Not every friendship you make requires energy to maintain. Passive friendships are those connections you have like the person who cuts your hair, or the classmate/coworker you occasionally share a conversation with. These connections may become active friendships, but for the time being they require very little effort to maintain. Smalltalk, a smile, a wave, or even liking their post on social media. On the other hand, active friendships are the people you share a deeper connection with—rather, they should be. In choosing those friends, Akbari recommends exercising caution and being selective, asking yourself whether or not you can learn from them, grow because of them (if they challenge you), confide in them, and find joy in being around them.

Once you’ve decided which of your connections require more effort on your part, it’s time to identify ways through which you can become a better friend. This will assist you in maintaining those meaningful connections. Here are some of the biggest ways to improve:

One of my favorite things to do each month is take a moment to think if any of my friendships have been neglected recently. I try to reach out to that friend and organize something with them. If they are a long-distance friendship, I try to schedule a phone call or have a long conversation with them through text. This might sound silly to some, but during the early stages of the pandemic, some of my friends and I even had Animal Crossing dates where we met up online on the game. There’s so many ways to connect.

We’ve all had that friend—or even have been guilty of being that friend—who never puts their phone away when spending time with others. It seems like a small thing, but it can be very hurtful to others. It communicates disinterest in the present company. That’s why I silence my phone and put it face-down on a surface or in my purse when I’m spending time with friends. ‘Do not disturb’ is a great feature for this, if you have responsibilities where you cannot just silence your phone.

I don’t know if anyone with truly great listening skills exists yet. If they do, I haven’t met them. We’ve all picked up bad, selfish conversational habits from here and there growing up. Not all to the same exact degree, but I have a feeling most of us need to make a conscious effort to work on this area. The best tips I’ve seen for this are as follows: really listen to what they say, repeat it to them (not verbatim, but maybe summarize how you think they’re feeling), and keep the focus on them. That last point can be pretty difficult, because many of us see this as a way to connect, but try to resist the urge to come in with a similar story about yourself unless it’s directly relevant.

Remember when I was talking about all those green-flags? Generosity is one of them. Generosity is defined as being liberal in giving and as having a noble or kindly spirit. To be a generous friend you need to show up during the hard times, and also be there during the good times. Support your friends through the loss of a loved one, but also be there to celebrate their wedding, for example. Another act of generosity that tends to be highly effective is to cook a meal for a friend. Or even cookies. The amount of effort that goes into cooking a meal communicates love to your friends. My big brother used to make me chocolate pudding when I was feeling unwell, and to this day, the gesture means so much to me.

Avoid making your friends feel like they’re second-choice. Forgetting to show up to plans, ditching them for something else, and canceling last minute are all very hurtful things to do to a friend. If you struggle with this, avoid making plans with people just because you’re bored. If you don’t enjoy their company that much, then it may mean that they don’t belong in your active friendship group. If that’s not the issue and you’re just forgetful, use a planner or a calendar to help keep you organized. Even just logging things in the calendar app on your smartphone can make a huge difference.